Friday, March 26, 2010


okay i'm done. seriously, i will stop with the teenangsty moping and awful poetry scribbles. i am like j. lo in that movie enough where she decides to learn how to box so she can kick the shit out of her abusive husband. except i am not latina. or, like, internationally beloved with several chart topping megahits nor do i have my every move tracked by celebrity gossip rags. or interested in abusing anyone physically.

i do have a few random strangers following this blog, though, so there's that. and, i get a gazillion connection requests on facebook and linkedin from people i may have charmed once in my brief existence in their lives. goddddddammit people like me! i mean, obviously i wouldn't be invited out to eat with them all the tarheel time if i weren't such a positive addition to the frickfracking party.

cough cough pardon my robocussin. i'm slightly annoyed right now also from all the money i've spent lately due to my unbridled popularity. i just got back from whole foods where i dropped fifty bones on 4 cheeses and 2 baguettes for a birthday dinner tonight. yesterday, i spent another $20 on dinner at dumont with a friend in from out of town (for HALF of a burger and >1/2 of a DELICIOUS crispy artichoke app--speaking of apps, i just got an iPhone! i am finally living 2007 to its fullest). and then at lunch yesterday, i joined a large lunch for this coworker's birthday (which isn't ACTUALLY until sunday, which is when i am ACTUALLY celebrating with her and every one of her gay friends at DRAG QUEEN BINGO--which reminds me, btw, that if you haven't watched Rupaul's drag race, you are not really watching television).

i only ordered a french onion soup, and after the bill was tallied, i owed $18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

listen, that sucks.

even if the soup was good.

oh yeah and on tuesday night i made dinner with this other friend of mine who said she had taco stuff and that all i needed to bring was lettuce, tomato, beer, and optional sour cream. i bought all that stuff at green grape provisions down the street from my home and spent 20 bucks. on lettuce. and a tomato. and optional sour cream. i'm not even counting the blippity blop beer. dear lord.

i mean, look, the thing is, i just feel, you know, i don't know, like, it's hard to explain

i was going to also talk about the eating that was had while i was in florida for the last couple of weeks, but, nothing remarkable was had, i promise. it was all very similar to my experience last year which you can read about here except instead of the latin quarter we went to margaritaville this year. oh and my brother now lives in deerfield beach which is adjacent to coconut creek. in fort lauderdale this year we went to margarita cantina and split a few pounds of crab legs. i have a punctured flesh wound in my right palm to prove it!

and voila. my self imposed obligatory monthly post for the fattractiverse is complete. next month, a podcast!

Sunday, March 21, 2010


These are not my secrets to tell,
what happens in the night
the demons that you fight
the lines we've drawn between wrong and right.

But I've told your stories, everyone.
I've told your stories until you've become
only a character within them: a son,
a lover, a convict on the run.

I'm the victim, the hero, the damsel
in distress. I'm in love, in pain, ad
nauseum, again. I've tried to quell
the sad songs and rain. I've tried to be sane.

But you remain the same.

In the darkness, your shadow shines.
You might read these lines and think,
"Does she want to be my shrink?" and
you may think, "It's too late
to save
the ship
that sinks."

and I will continue to ignore the signs
and I will be the one who pines
for moments to be that never became
While you remain the same.