Wednesday, May 19, 2010

fattractive got her grewv back

so it would seem that i have not actually gotten closer to my goal of redirecting the new tumblr blog to this url. well whatever haven't i wasted enough time talking about that already?

okay where were we? i was in miami contemplating room service. i got breakfast in room the next day instead, i think, eggs and sausage with cuban toast if i remember correctly. then i caught a cab and told the driver to take me to the funkiest neighborhood in the city. i really did. then i blew 6 hours doing nothing much but walking around looking for a place to sell me cigarettes. i yelped a cafe on my iphone and started walking in that direction, and wouldn't you know it if right next to a super gentrified district of strip malls and starbucks i found myself smack dab in the middle of murdertown rapesville crackland park, FL. sometimes i really have to ask myself who the heck i think i am, wandering around like that in a dress like that looking all gorgeous like i do.

speaking of my incredible beauty, fast forward to this past saturday night when i got kind of an awesome pick up line. i'm standing outside this bar waiting for the people i came with to work their way out of the shitshow inside and this dude walks by with his eyes locked on me. i can't help but return the gaze...i think i've kind of been in a phase over the last few months where i must not think people can see me. and, anyway, he says "don't be looking at me like you're not cute." and i'm like, "what?" and he explains, "don't be looking at me like you're not cute and i'm not going to stop to talk to you." i mean, it was kind of a perfect pick up line because it hooked me into a conversation. of course, i had to be in the right mood. if it were another night i might have just ignored him.

but i digress. in my last hour in miami, i ate this deepfried cheesecake burrito on top of a mound of vanilla ice cream and covered in whip cream and caramel. if we were facebook friends, you would have seen a picture at about the same time i was eating it. then, last week when i was leaving chicago, i had 3 enormous slices of deep dish pizza at gino's east on superior (recommended to me by the incomparable alex preston who still owes me a shirt with a shark wearing brass knuckles on it) before i got to the airport and sucked down a 4 scoop mint cookies n' cream ben and jerry's milkshake. i didn't eat much else of note in chicago besides a stupid gross salad at corner bakery while i waited for a metra train to evanston. but when i got back, i had a pretty rad weekend...

i feel like this post is jumping all around a bit. that's where my mind is right now...i should be packing for the next week i'll be in l.a. i leave at 7 a.m. tomorrow and i haven't even pulled my suitcase out of the closet. again, who do i think i am for drinking that beer and catching up on a week's worth of television on hulu tonight instead of focusing on looking cute for the next 7 days whilst stuffing my face with potato tacos.

ugh i had the grossest lunch today at gee whiz, but at least anna is finally back. she's got suck timing, though, swinging into ny the day before i leave. i had kind of a not-amazing dinner last night too at agozar! with danica (although it was lovely spending time with her). come to think of it, i did not love what i had for dinner at sushi d with kristy on monday night, either. it's no wonder i have like $5.93 in my checking account right now. i took heather to the palm with a $150 gift certificate on sunday night and still ended up paying thirty bones in tip. not too bad i suppose for surf and turf. i didn't pay for dinner or addams family the musical on friday night, thanks to a gracious tarde family. i'm trying to rationalize my way out of feeling guilty for the excessive spending, but really just because someone else takes me to dinner doesn't mean it's okay for me to match that spending.

obviously i'm blathering on about all of this mundane who cares because i have something else on my mind. you know who you are. i am not writing this to you. i am done writing to you. not you. just you. no, i didn't mean you.

oh wait, i got a bike! she's a beaut. i plan to burn sooooo many calories lifting her up and down the stairs to my apt. plus, all those calories i'll be burning looking for accessories like this cheeseburger bike bell:

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