Monday, June 16, 2008

break up hotel

i just submitted my suggestion for the name of the new venue in the space formally known as galapagos. what do you think?

also, i woke up at 5:30 a.m. even though i was EXHAUSTED last night from a full day of bronxing. mommy, what is going on with my body? i drank hardly any alcohol yesterday, just a little sparkling rose before the best homemade strawberry rhubarb cobbler with vanilla ice cream i've ever tasted. melinda made it, and she shared it with me, laura and gabe after we had dinner with her and andrew at this mucho delicioso place estrella poblanita on arthur avenue. i chose the spot for dinner (my portion was under $5) because i didn't want to make my friends spend too much money after we'd each spent $15 on tickets to the zoo (danica, david, gabe, jill, and laura). david also bought me a camel ride and one for his lady. the guy at the photo booth said they were going to use my picture they took of me on the camel for zoo promo material. look out, world!

my back hurts. i am going to go to the gym this morning and do something low impact, i guess, since i'm awake anyway.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

mex and the city

so now it's saturday and i still feel bloated and ugly. that shall be the name of the next blog i start: "blugly." (note to self: start blog column at work called "none of your business.") you can probably guess why i've been feeling this way for over A WEEK (hint) and why i've decided to stay home tonight instead of go with THE FLOW and meet the rest of my friends at cakeshop (which is neither a cake nor a shop) to see heather's boyfriend frank's band play PERIOD. it's kind of funny (i mean sad) how nervous you (i mean me) can get when you (again, me) want it to come like clockwork but then just hate life while its here. all of my manfriends who read my blog can avert your eyes for this post. i'm going to talk about sex and the city now which will be boring to you anyway.

i fucking loved it. i loved every minute of it. i loved the outfits and the shopping and the stupid jokes and the over the top hopeless romanticizing. i loved the talking, i loved the looks, i loved the children. i loved the poop and the penis and pubic hair and everything in between. every review about the movie is wrong. who cares if it's embarrassingly materialistic and the script takes every easy way out? it's supposed to be fun!

okay. i didn't eat any popcorn at the theater because laura and i had just stuffed ourselves at supper on 2nd street in the east village. i had the friday special risotto that was packed with squirmy delights from the sea, and laura had pasta in mint sauce. mint! my only complaint is that when i got there at 6:15 and NO ONE else was there, they wouldn't let me sit down at one of the tables outside until my "party was complete" which didn't happen until 6:25 (i'm looking at you, laura). in the meantime, i called my aunts and left them cryptic voicemails. my brother just told me last weekend that he's getting married but he didn't want to call everyone himself, so it's up to me. and now all of you know. see how efficient i am?

tiffany canceled lunch on me, but that's okay because me and aviva (sorry, dan, i know you hate it when i rape grammar like that) found a new vietnamese sandwich place down the street from our office. they didn't know how to work their cash register, but the thai iced coffee was delish. i'm totally gaining 30 pounds this summer from frequenting this place, prediction. i didn't have lunch with aaron either because we hit a snafu with the thing that was supposed to be ready for him, although he did come in for a little while to pow wow with me in our cafe yesterday. instead, i had something else that i can't remember for lunch. allen and delancey on the lower east side, btw, blew our minds. we started with scallops (Sea Scallops, Thumbelina Carrots, Sultanas, Cilantro) and sweetbreads (Sweetbreads, Fennel, Madernassa Pear, Licorice) (which i was told were the thyroid glands of baby veals and yet still thought the rolls that were brought to our table were them). our waiter looked JUST LIKE joey from friends, but the rest of my dining companions thought i was insane when i said so. melinda and i (look, dan, i did it right!) kept shouting french words at each other through out the meal as they occurred to us to the chagrin of the rest of the restaurants patrons. we had the cod, halibut, lamb shank, and monkfish, although we couldn't clean our plates because some of us were dumb enough to graze heavily on the chips and guac available at the dwr party. the others of us (ahem, NOT ME) wanted to take smoke breaks in between courses. i did this when i was in college, but seriously that makes no sense when you are (I am) spending oodles of recession dollars on something you (i) want to taste, goddammit.

tomorrow i'm making all of my friends go to the zoo for my birthday. everyone says you should have italian food in the bronx, but i just don't feel like it. so we're having mexican instead. i shall report shortly (at great length).

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

in which we despise ourselves

i feel udderly disgusting lately. moooooooooooooooooove over, weight watcher club at work. there's a new girl with body issues in town.

okay. maybe that wasn't nice. i've been called insensitive in the past for not understanding or accepting or respecting the point system. i've explained that evaluating each object i drop down my gullet takes all pleasure out of consumption. inevitably the woman i've said this to, it's always a woman that brings up points although there are plenty of men who have joined the weight watching club (one of whom i have noticed around the office lately looking extremely trim), inevitably she tells me i've never had to worry about it because i have a naturally high metabolism. um, hello? have we met? have you seen my felbows?



clearly i am not a skinny bitch on a high horse. what is it with all the farm references in this post? at least i haven't said 'pig out,' yet. oops.

so yeah i keep thinking that now that i live this much closer to the office i am totally going to hit the gym like waaaaay more often (than never which is how frequently i'm going now). also, i'm trying not to eat out as much--because we all know that restaurants are fattening--but that's practically impossible in new york. i went to trader joe's on sunday and bought at least a week's worth of food (breakfast, lunch, dinner and even snacks) but it's already tuesday and already i've had a shrimp salad salad at some gross deli in times square tonight (i had twenty minutes before i was supposed to meet the ladies rent the musical--free tickets, natch), a big piece of nan from aviva after lunch because the frozen microwavable vegan pad thai just did not hit the spot, a kiwi bubble tea after work yesterday and a red bean cake biscuit thing from chinatown because i was absolutely starving and couldn't go home before aviva's book party at lit after getting my hair did (you can do it at this place called A something in chinese on E. bway @allen for $15 which i would never normally spend money on but seeing as how my flat iron is buried somewhere and i've been feeling ugly lately--see beginning of this post--the price was worth it), a lemon sorbet scoop and a couple of beers for dinner sunday night because i had the night wrong for aviva's dinner party and showed up at lil frankie's on 1st & 1st 24 hours early (didn't have dinner even though aviva met me there anyway but will one day in the future. oddly enough, max went there for dinner last night before the book party without even knowing that that was where her dinner party was scheduled to be. it ended up not happening, btw, because she wanted to stay and rage at lit after signing books for two hours.), $10 potato pancakes for a second lunch at the astoria beer garden earlier on sunday where i had gone to watch the soccor game with anna, aaron, and some of their other friends because you just can't not order something to eat with your hoegarden when you're surrounded by tables covered in kielbasa and kraut. the bill at the beer garden said "pot pancakes" so i made aaron take a picture. maybe he will post it someday soon and you will giggle about it the way that i did.

my point is that i have spent tons of money on food that are not the groceries i bought and it's only fucking tuesday. i'm a failure. i'm a fat mess. i would pledge to go to the gym tomorrow if i hadn't already promised liz i'd go to happy ending with her tomorrow night for a reading and adam is going to be there, too. i'd go on thursday if i didn't already have lunch plans with aaron to talk about the book and thursday night plans with melinda to go to the dwr soho studio opening and then dinner at allen and delancey. i'd go on friday if i didn't have lunch plans with tiffany and then dinner plans with laura and sex and the city plans with the other three girls that were causing me stress attacks for never having simultaneous openings in their schedules. so, you are thinking, go in the morning, right? yes. i know. it seems to be the only answer. but you just don't understand. no one understands how little sleep i already get and why i have enough trouble waking up at 8 in the morning. if i had to get up at 6? bitch, please.

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