Sunday, May 25, 2008

smooth move

i should first say that i've invited my friend Femme Fat Al to post to this blog whenever she has anything interesting to say about crazy ass food in africa, where she will be doing a library project over the summer. also, i've been cyberstalking my friend laura's friend mike's friend adam whom i met once either last summer or the summer before at the park with his friend who was also my friend melinda's former roommate. (look melinda! i've namedropped you!) he has a really funny travel blog about his current stint in malaysia where he's doing some kind of animation project but also noticing interesting cultural differences in food prep and consumption. he's in the list on the right.

so as i mentioned in a previous post, i'm moving. when i first migrated to new york, exactly 4 years ago, i moved with my friend tana, whom i met through my freshman year roommate jackie, into a lovely apartment on the other side of the practical universe. the building was on meeker avenue, which is an access lane to the perpetually under construction BQE, right at the meeker avenue exit and my bedroom was in the front on the ground floor so that if any 18 wheeler exiting at that exit (which was all of them because trucks have to exit there to make deliveries in williamsburg) and lost control of its steering wheel, it would have plowed directly into my den of slumber. also, it always smelled like exhaust fumes and there were many a night i awoke to the lullabye of 4 a.m. jackhammers right outside my window. and it was a twenty minute walk from the graham avenue stop on the L train. tana moved out after only a few months to move in with her boyfriend in carroll gardens and her friend from ad school becky moved in with me. becky and i only lasted there a few more months before searching for a new place to live. we found the place i live in now, paid a $2,000 brokers fee, and found a third roommate through my friend jill whom i used to work with at harpercollins. becky then had to go back to seattle because her then employer kept writing her rubber checks so jill moved into her room. then colleen, jill's friend who had helped me and becky get this apartment with her stellar credit, moved in with her boyfriend bill, and jason moved into colleen's room. then jill moved out a year later to live by herself and the lovely melinda whom i mentioned earlier (look melinda! i've named you again!) moved into jill's old room. then melinda moved in with her boyfriend andrew and my friend nikki's friend alex's friend brent moved in. then he moved to france although i think he's probably back by now and my friend everybody's friend mike moved in and that's who lives here now.

i didn't mean to tell you that whole story when i first came here to write. my point was going to be about how smoothly this particular move of mine is coming together. besides moving to this apartment and the one before it, i've moved across the country three times in my adulthood (from tx to il, il to va, and va to ny) and i've lived in more than one place in most of the states i've lived in (except va, but that's because i was living with a boyfriend at the time that wouldn't have such nonsense). i've heard worse stories about people who have had like 20 apartments or something in two years or like holly's friend lori who's moved something ridiculous like 12 times in 6 months. and the reason this shocks people is because it's such a pain in the ass to move. a lot of the time you have to get someone to replace you, you have to get together the extra cash for a security deposit in addition to first month's rent if not also for a broker fee, you have to purge all of the accumulated belongings that you don't love enough to haul from one location to the next, you have to pack up all the rest of the stuff that you deem a necessity, you have to clean the dickens out of the new place you're moving into because it's highly likely that the last person that lived there was lazy and inconsiderate, you have to move all of your shit into the room only to discover that it's not all going to fit as you are spending the next few weeks living with boxes and general disarray. moving is not fun.

this move for me this time, though, has been pretty smooth sailing for the most part, knock on wood. mayhaps because i've been mentally preparing for it for a while. ever since the first condos went up in this neighborhood i've been having a sinking feeling. the L train has been going in and out of service on the weekends and the mornings have just gotten more and more congested, especially since i've been having to get to work over an hour earlier due to the new job i started in march. i told jason i was going to look for a new place in april when he got back from mexico although i had been whining to my friends about wanting to move for months and months before that. and so i finally shat to get off the pot, so they say, and looked for a new home in clinton hill where i could be near the C train for a one train commute to work and near the G train so i could be psychologically closer to most of my social life in williamsburg. there was one hiccup where i thought i was going to move into a 7th floor walkup in chinatown with a 9 month old baby, but when i called to sign my lease friday morning the dude told me that some construction on the 6th floor forced an infestation of mice into the apartment and so he was distressed and didn't think he could rent the room to anyone for at least another month while he figured out what to do. this was upsetting to me because i had just told loryn that she could move into my place, but later that day (after tasting a thousand flavors at grom with melinda (!!)) i finally found a place in the exact location i was originally looking that is a decent size and totally affordable.

i have extra money because my bike was stolen last week and my insurance company is awesome. i have jill's car because she's in london this week. and i have a long weekend because of memorial day. so i spent yesterday running around to the dollar store for cleaning supplies, to the paint store for new colors for the walls of my new room, and to the truck rental place for a bunch of boxes. then i went to the new place and scrubbed the dickens off of the mouldings and trim and anna came over to help me tape it up before i go over there today to paint. then we went to a bbq with holly and lori at some place on powers and bushwick where i quickly inhaled a hotdog with portabello and performed some faux fellatio on one of the most delicious corn cobs i've ever ingested. pictures of that to come (har har). after painting this morning, i will be heading to a pic-a-nic in central park this afternoon, and i'll be packing the rest of the week before the official move next weekend. zip zip.

when i came outside to get in the car to pick up anna and holly yesterday, the air was infused with the sweet scent of grilling and i thought it would be nice to always smell like a bbq. i will ask my friend who works for a parfumery to work on that one for me.

Friday, May 23, 2008


Friday, May 23, 2008

speaking of shakes
when you order iced coffee over there
you get a coffee milkshake

at the burger place?



i remember the first time it happened

whatever you're about to say is going onto

it was one of the best dining experiences of my life
just for that
they just started selling live caterpillars at Spar (supermarket) there
tis the season
eat up!


in november they harvest termites
that come to life in the form of large-winged moths
they don't harvest them
they appear and people catch them with buckets and eat them

that's definitely not what i thought you were going to say about coffee shakes

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

it took me almost a month to eat a bag of combos

one of my favorite snacks in the world is combos. i bought a bag of them a couple of weekends ago, on may 3 to be exact, at some bodega in green point where me and danica stopped to get some beers to bring to doug's pre-party that turned into the-party. we had come back from this pen event that hardly anyone else went to even though it was for the believer and therefore intrinsically cool and interesting. in fact, you guys seriously have to check out the 3d vladmaster. wow. anyway, i shouldn't have been hungry because we had just had dinner at panna II (my first memory of which was new years 1999 while i was wearing blue tinsel eyelashes and a big red fur coat). danica had never been, so it was my duty as a veteran new york diner to take her there. it was as it always is, blinky christmas chili pepper lights and frenetic waitstaff and a birthday song sung by all the patrons in unison and a scoop of mysterious but complimentary sorbet. so as i was saying i should not have been hungry, but i saw that bag of combos at the bodega after i'd had a shot of tequila a enid's (danica, if you are reading this, straight tequila should certainly be a more common guest in our weekends...not that i have anything against the gayer version of tequila mixed up in my margs). those combos served me well all the way up until tonight when i was finally polishing the bag off on my walk from the wrong train station in astoria all the way down 36th to where jill had left her car for me to pick up so i can carsit for her while she is in london with her boyfriend this week.

in other news, i got my first email from a random stranger who reads this inconsistent reportage of my consumption habits! here it is, in entirety, minus his coordinates so as not to offend him:

---------- message ----------
From: Bennett
Date: Fri, May 16, 2008 at 9:19 AM
Subject: kinos alter
To: fattractive

I took my mom to Moutard last night. Diffident service.. food was more or less faultless, but somehow lacking: she had the boeuf bourguinon -stew, and it tasted like it, uninteresting; my crispy salmon was overcooked and sort of a sterile experience.

ANyway, there is a movie missing from your list


cheerriioo -Bennett

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

terrible twos day

no i just titled the blog that because i thought it would be clever. i actually love tuesdays.

on tuesday, my best girlfriends come over. we order chinese food. we watch american idol. we cackle.

tonight, i ordered from pac like we always do. this was originally heather's suggestion and we've just stuck with it because it's easy and i have the number stored in my phone. i think we also order from there because it's usually hilarious how many times we have to repeat ourselves when we order because they don't understand english. i'm the last one to make fun of asian people, but usually it's them that have to repeat themselves a thousand times before anyone understands what they're saying. it amuses me that they are giving a taste of that back to the american public.

laura got the broccoli in garlic sauce with brown rice ($3.50), heather and i split the sesame chicken and beef broccoli. i wanted brown rice. she wanted white. the delivery came with only one serving of brown rice but no white rice or the other brown rice. i called again to inform them and the woman who answered the phone actually argued with me! she said she definitely put the rice in the bag! seriously. i've never been a more right customer.

and earlier today, i got an email from working advantage that notified me of a 27% discount on my sprint account. so i called sprint, and they said the company listed in their database with the name of my company was a lumber company. they asked me for my company member i.d. which i didn't have because for some reason i didn't get my hr guy's companywide email with the number in it. so i walked over to his office (still wearing my headset) and asked him for it. after i gave it to sprint they said they were able to apply the discount but only 10% because the more people from my company that signed up the higher the discount would be. so i sent out an email to the whole company informing them of this benefit, and two employees wrote me back to say they tried to get their discount but sprint said they had no record of our company even after they used the member i.d. that i gave them! i am disgruntled with that. we'll see if in 60 days from now whether they even applied the 10% to my bill or if that was just a ploy to get me off the phone with the sprint rep.

what a boring blog post. other meals i've eaten, in backwards order, include: sandwiches at a lunch meeting, eggs and spinach i whipped up this morning, cereal in front of the tube last night, balducci's with max and aviva (buy her book! howard stern talked about it for like 5 minutes!), beers and return of the living dead at nic's for sunday dinner, leftover pasta with vodka sauce i bought from the italian bakery on metropolitan @ lorimer that i go to almost every morning for coffee (now $1.25 sadly), zuke bread from the street fair in union square that i went to after yoga class at om with first a coffee from urban rustic and then a refill from dunkin donuts in the same cup, a delicious mozzarella filled corncake arepa from said street fair, pasta with vodka sauce from bakery and a big glass of cranapple juice (i drank that whole jug in less than a week), half a tempeh ruben and one banana nut waffle at phoebe's at saturday brunch with heather and danica (heather at the other half and one waffle. we like to share. we have food synergy.), and uh i can't remember what i had for dinner friday night. i think about 3 cigarettes while i read through all of the letters from my father to my grandmother that he sent her from ages 18 until literally the day he died on October 24, 1986. i'm going to scan these in and make a memorial site for him. tba.

until nexxxt time, friends!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

not just one, but two! votes

from Max, regarding places to eat near Union Hall (where I'm going to see the Foals tonight). Melinda also suggested al di la.

Ah yes. The best place in the world to eat in park slope (and maybe all of brooklyn) is al di la, which is an italian restaurant on carrol and 5th (two blocks south of union). They don’t take reservations though and waits can be as much as two hours. If you can get there early, its well worth it. Great food, great prices.

What else? Everything else kind of pales in comparison. Moutard is passable (across from Al di la)--basic French fare in a nice dining room. There’s a BBQ place at President (one block south of Union) that is ok, but nothing to write home about.

If you’re in the mood for Tai you could do Song—very reasonably priced Tai food (entrĂ©es $7) that’s decent in a kind of hip atmosphere.

On 5/8/08 4:06 PM, "Max" wrote:

It’s cheap for what you get. Pasta dishes are between 10 and 18, meat dishes are between 15 and 25. The risotto special, which is usually black risotto in squid ink is unreal.

Get the a carafe of house wine. It’s almost always good and its really cheap.

On 5/8/08 4:08 PM, "Max" wrote:

Also good is the sage butter ravioli (on the cheap side, $11, I think)

The beef carapacio is amazing too.

On 5/8/08 4:11 PM, "Max" wrote:

Ok good call. The way to do al di la is to get there at 6 or 6:30, put your name in, walk to union hall and have a beer and then eat at 8pm

Friday, May 2, 2008

i'm working 9 2 5, what a way to make a living!

this is an email i just sent out to my entire department:

I go here for salads (because you can get as many toppings as you want for $7): Bits Bites & Baguettes, 22 Park Pl
There is a Subway across the street from Bits Bites. Currently, you can get a footlong for $5.

I go here for big sandwiches (you must be hungry): Pane Peppe, 295 Greenwich St
(between Chambers St & Warren St)

I go here for pasta (it is cheap but super fresh and authentic): capri caffe, 165 Church St
Btwn Chambers & Reade St

I go here for indian: pakistani tea house, 176 Church St
(between Duane St & Reade St)

I haven’t gone here for soup, but if I wanted soup I would go to: the original soup man, 97 Trinity Pl
(between Rector St & Thames St)

For good coffee and light sandwiches: Blue Spoon, 76 Chambers Street @bway

For burritos: Burritoville, 144 Chambers St Frnt @ W. bway

For sushi (I haven’t been here, but I hear it’s good): Niko Niko, 80 Wall St @ Pearl St
For sushi and udon even closer, there’s this place on Church near Warren but I don’t know what it’s called.

Love empandadas, although they’re not very satisfying: Ruben’s, 149 Church St.

Sit-down, cheap mexican: Little Place, 61 Warren St
(between Broadway & Church St)

Sit-down, diner style: The Soda Shop, 125 Chambers St
(between Broadway & Church St)

Also, the diner on Greenwich, Gee Whiz, is pretty good but is crazy busy all the time.