Sunday, November 30, 2008

Today's guest: Holly

This is a conversation I had with Holly today about our thanksgivings. Mine was in suburban New York and hers was in Zambia. (ed note: we do realize the gross unfairness of this day's abundance and the starving pop in africa. we're not able to make any restitution at this time.)

me: so we went there first and then to the winnie's in chinatown for a few more drinks
Holly: NO WAY
me: before the gang gang dance/ marnie stern show at santos
and almost mentioned it
me: wut?
Holly: it came out of NOWHERE
me: wow
i talked about you to jessica last night
Holly: yeah..i was like, "crazy, why did i think of that place?"
me: because i was telling her that i wanted to go to africa
but it was too expensive
1:11 PM Holly: weird!!
me: and she said that she might be able to get me cheap tix through columbia
the school that she is currently enrolled in
Holly: ?!?!?!
me: i can't remember the details because i got wasted
Holly: oh awesome
find out
me: but i'll ask her again when she gets back from equis tonight
yes we're telepathically connected
1:12 PM actually it's not that weird that i mentioned you because i've been talking about africa a lot lately
Holly: ok
me: but it is weird that you were thinking about winnies and i was there
Holly: yes
me: playing porn photo compare

are there karoke bars in africa?
Holly: dude
yes there is ONE place
me: hahha
Holly: indians and chinese go there
it's hilarious
also a tacky restaurant
me: sweet

Holly: it's called the dolphin

me: tonight i'm planning to do
hopefully my hot water will come back on and i'll be able to take a shower
1:24 PM Holly: i forgot that the standard of living in new york is actually equivalent to africa

me: when do you come back? are you even going to visit?
Holly: dude
Holly: i have a permanent free room with maids and a vegetable garden and a cook to make whatever i ask for

1:35 PM me: did you have thanksgiving there?
i mean
i know it's an american tradition
do you have expat friends?
Holly: dude
1:36 PM there was a giant dinner on this girls' huge verandah
very fancy
me: oh good
Holly: zambians were there too
food sucked
then last night
me: hahhah
what was on the menu, femme fat al?
Holly: my new friend, jemeh had a southern soul food thanksgiving
she's black but american but all her friends are black zambian
to share an american tradition with them
her food was AMAZING
corn bread stuffing
1:37 PM what did you do?
1:38 PM me: corn bread stuffing is my fave
i used to make it every year, a recipe from paul prudhomme
that includes giblets
gizzards and hearts and livers, oh my!
what else?
1:39 PM Holly: i was like, "she's a super smart overachiever/perfectionist, she's african-american, she's overweight....fuck YEAH i'm going to her thanksgiving!!!"
me: turkey?
Holly: and i was right
i ate it even though it probably had all those things in it
there was a power outage so i couldn't see what i was eating, anyway
1:40 PM me: mashed potatoes?
Holly: yes
oh and if you have access to the commissary
me: greens?
Holly: this special place at US Embassy where they sell imported american items
you can get Crisco
and she got it
otherwise, the pies wouldn't have been american enough for me
1:41 PM me: what kind of pie?
Holly: she came through all the way, it was incredible
apple and pumpkin
she also got libby's from the commissary
me: so you went to two thanksgiving dinners?
i'm confused
your friend jemeh and the dinner on the huge verandah?
Holly: yes
1:42 PM one thurs night and one last night
me: oh awesome
Holly: jemeh had the one last night
me: that's the way to do it
Holly: yes
me: i kind of did two
on thursday, i went up to westchester where my roommate's parents live
1:43 PM after spending the morning whipping 12 sweet potatoes with maple syrup, heavy cream and pecans
Holly: how was that?
me: i have a blister on my finger from peeling the potatoes
Holly: haha
me: i should have only made half as much
Holly: i made an apple pie and mass amount of potatoes, as well
1:44 PM me: i still have a lot of it left. i'll mail it to you
Holly: yeah i did the same
idiot roommate left them out overnight because he's middle eastern, so they went bad
me: i always forget that people can't eat a full regular sized serving of anything on thanksgiving because there's so much that everyone wants to try
that's vaguely racist
Holly: yeah
me: but i'm not sure
Holly: i know, but i am racist
africa does that to someone
trust me
1:45 PM me: anyway, jess's mom had made twice too much of everything, too. she had a 29 lb turkey!
Holly: haha sounds like my mom
me: some creamed spinach with mushrooms
two stuffings
a jello mold with fruit in it
a whole boat of cut up fruit
1:46 PM and then three different pies
plus brownies
Holly: two stuffings is key
me: i was in pain by the end
the jello mold was interesting. my gramma used to always make ambrosia
Holly: dude, most of the zambians were avoiding the pie in favor of the disgusting ice cream you have to buy here (or none at all)
they just don't know
in pain haaa
1:47 PM me: how can ice cream be disgusting?
Holly: trust me
because there are power outages so it's grainy and artificial tasting to begin with
then it melts and refreezes
in the stores
that's how
1:48 PM me: the next day, i took some of my whipped sweet potatoes over to my friend carla's house where her roomie and another friend were turning their leftover turkey into a delicious toritilla soup
with fresh corn and topped with avocado and cheese
1:49 PM Holly: wow
me: so yummy
Holly: i miss mexican
me: hahhah
Holly: waaaaaaa
me: sorry
Holly: there are avocados coming out of my ears
1:50 PM me: well if you can get an american thanksgiving, can't you get a taco?
Holly: no mexican, no sour cream on the entire continent
ohhh no good cheese
the imported cheese that is okay is like equivalent in value to blood diamonds
1:51 PM me: hahhah
i'm posting this on fattractive
Holly: hahah ok
1:52 PM there are mangoes falling from the trees
i believe i will buy one along a dirt road walking to the library in the morning
500 kwacha
which is just a few cents
me: woah
how much usd do you think you spend there in a week?
Holly: depends
i mean, i eat for free, man
1:53 PM cook and all

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